Vampyres don’t exist. They absolutely do not exist.
At least I didn’t think they did ‘til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead?
Now I’m a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren’t bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe. On the downside, I’m stuck with an obscenely profane Guardian Angel who looks like Oprah and a Fairy Fighting Coach who’s teaching me to annihilate like the Terminator.
To complicate matters, my libido has increased to Vampyric proportions and my attraction to a hotter than Satan’s underpants killer rogue Vampyre is not only dangerous . . . it’s possibly deadly. For real dead. Permanent death isn’t on my agenda. Avoiding him is my only option. Of course, since he thinks I’m his, it’s easier said than done. Like THAT’S not enough to deal with, all the other Vampyres think I’m some sort of Chosen One.
Holy Hell, if I’m in charge of saving an entire race of blood suckers, the Undead are in for one hell of a ride.
“Uproariously witty, deliciously provocative, and just plain fun! No one delivers side-splitting humor and mouth-watering sensuality like Robyn Peterman. This is entertainment at its absolute finest!” ~ Darynda Jones, NY Times Bestselling Author of the Charley Davidson Series
What a way to start a series! Robyn Peterman sets up a brilliant story that chronicles the misadventures of Astrid, newly turned vampire, as she tries to figure out her life. Thankfully, she doesn’t have to go it alone. She still has her BFF-who has no problem with Astrid’s status as one of the undead. She also has a foul mouth angel guide with a knack for creating inventive pet names beginning with ass and a fashion challenged fairy who serves as her trainer (he may look and fight like the Terminator but he dresses more like Richard Simmons). Throw in her attraction for a very sexy but dangerous vampire and the mystery of the little monsters that live on her ceiling and you understand why this is unlike other vampire stories.
I will say that I loved the complexity of the story. Peterman gives us all the details that are important to understanding the world she has created. Even though there is a lot going on with the story, all of the events are connected and it is obvious that every minute detail is critical to understanding the story. The characters were very well crafted; they were hilarious and genuine and there was such wonderful chemistry between them that I felt more like I was watching a movie rather than reading a book. I honestly couldn’t put this one down; it kept me riveted and was a major contributor to insomnia due to binge reading.
This book is a perfect 10 out of 10 in my book and I look forward to seeing just where this series goes. A few disclaimers-
- There is plenty of foul language.
- There are some pretty steamy scenes and some serious sexual tension.
- It does end on a cliffhanger so be prepared to give in to the impulse to buy the sequel.
So if you are in the market for a great, paranormal book with a healthy dose of both steam and snark, you should really check out Fashionably Dead.